The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself see this here is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay men want to find out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either great post to read there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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