The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, making love carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For a knockout post gay males particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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