The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

However when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban areas, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay guys desire to learn from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry their explanation occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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