The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting look at here in effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that numerous of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a go to this site relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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