The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay men desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' see this thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take Recommended Site place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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