The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they see it here prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Many gay males desire to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North check my blog includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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