The Intimacy Snare, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay guys desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth blog hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Snare, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar